Monday, August 27, 2007

on everything

Perhaps there's a whole lot to learn here. Perhaps I came here with the wrong attitude. Who knows.

Turns out the room I thought I was going to be moving into in two days fell through. The renter and I had already signed papers, and made a verbal agreement about my getting that room, but she called me this morning to inform me that she'd given it to another person. Just like that, in spite of everything, she just gave it to someone else with no warning. The least she could have done was let me know she was entertaining other possibilities and that it wasn't guaranteed, but she didn't even do me that courtesy. Thus, I wasted four days that I could have spent looking for a place to live. Such is life, right? I learned my lesson, though: do not trust someone's words. So that leads me back to square one where my life's belongings will remain in my car and I will continue to be a squatter for an undisclosed amount of time. Helas. I'm trying to be positive, here.

In other news I did enjoy several things this weekend. On Friday night I went to a local DJ show at Northern Exposure here in Ogden. I must say these guys were very talented, and I thoroughly enjoyed the music. Lots of people were dancing. At first, it was a little bit annoying because some girls were booty dancing to drum and bass (a bizarre combination at best), but later some b boys hopped on the floor and my eyes were in heaven. I tried to soak up a few moves because I really want to learn to break dance. One guy was doing the liquid thing with such grace, I couldn't stop staring. Anyway I made it onto the floor myself toward the end and tried to experiment with some break moves (none of them on the ground, mind you). Besides the several guys who asked to grind on me (at least they asked), I had a blast. I used some of the breaky moves that I learned from German belly dance superstar Leyla Jouvana, and they were a big hit. Furthermore, my bracelets were glowing in the blacklight to my immense amusement. Saturday, I went to fetish night at Area 51 in SLC. The entire experience was better than when I went to Goth night previously, in terms of music and set-up. Both dance floors were devoted to darker industrial beats, and tons of people were dressed creatively AND dancing. I was able to dance long enough to have to wipe the sweat out of my eyes, but the stomach ache I'd been nursing all night was irritated by the RIDICULOUS amount of cigarette smoke wafting through the club. I have to complain about this because it's not fair. I don't care if people smoke or not, but I don't, and I don't think I should have to breathe it... specifically indoors.... in a DANCE club. Don't you need lung capacity in order to dance? I do, and I find that I cannot dance for a long period of time out here because my eyes start itching, and I start feeling nauseated and unable to breathe. I was annoyed, and I left early. Too bad, so sad. I'm hoping to find some place that at least has a smoking section separate from the dance floor. Wish me luck.

I go to my hip hop class tomorrow night, so there's something to look forward to. Also, I'm trying to find a tribal fusion teacher close by, but so far the only classes offered are traditional belly dance. I might try it out, if only to improve my technique.

Furthermore, I'm looking for a second job. I have absolutely nothing to do with my time. I spent all day yesterday in bed, and I realize I can use that time to be productive and at least bring myself closer to realizing my goals. Ideally I'd want to snag a part-time job at Michael's or Jo-Ann in order to get the discount on costuming supplies and art stuff. We'll see.

It strikes me that this entry has a certain negativity that I don't want to perpetuate, so I'll leave you with this: Confucius say: It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.

Namaste

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