Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Transitions

Well. Where do I begin? Having neglected this blog for four months is nothing compared to other parts of my soul I have been neglecting for even longer. But it's time. Transition time. In so many ways, I am yet again on the brink.
Jobless, houseless as of Thursday (I do not say homeless because I always have a home), destination-less (for the most part), and answerless (to all the questions I have for the Universe). I am ecstatic and thrilled and sad and growing. Saying goodbye is never easy, especially when you have to say it to beautiful, amazing children who you don't think truly understand (but probably understand more than you do).
We hit the road on Thursday, and the only goal is "east." We will camp or crash couches along the way, deciding on our route each day. What do we want when we get "east"? To be determined. Soul searching is in progress on so many levels. This epic journey will symbolize many internal journeys as well, and so I am excited. I will be posting updates as to our whereabouts (and probably hinting at the whereabouts of my soul) along the way.
Let me begin this ending with an ode to the Sonoran Desert, most beautiful and magical of spaces. In fact, if one could be in love with a place (and why couldn't one be?), that is how I would describe my feelings for this place I called home for 3+ years. She makes me want to be a better person. She reminds me of the magic inside myself. She makes me feel beautiful. She teaches me to be strong. She sings me songs in the solitude of the night. She whispers poems to me. She inspires an extreme range of emotions in me, and her mood always suits my own. Oh beautiful desert, magical place, with your golden sunsets, your purple mountains, your wonderful spines, mysterious flowers, hidden life, incredible creatures, your thirst, your storms, your wind, your dirt, your endless horizons, your piercing stars, I am yours. I always will be. I will miss you in the depths of my being, but there is no way I will not be back.
I remember so clearly the first time I came to Arizona, summer after senior year of high school when my dad took my brother and me to the Grand Canyon. I recall riding in the rental car as he drove us from Flagstaff to GC, and as I gazed out the window I recognized the magic here. I thought to myself "I want to live in Arizona some day." Well, life brought me here, and I have learned so much. It has all been rather epic, and I was lucky enough to meet some indescribably amazing people. That said, you (dear desert and dear desert friends) will be missed greatly. I hope you all will accompany me on my journey, and share your thoughts. They will be greatly loved. :)