Well, here we are. Day 3 of being on the road (again). I feel more wild and free with each passing moment. It's a process, though. Everything is, I suppose.
We've only been driving about 140 miles per day, which is nice in its own way. Taking it slow. I cried my eyes out leaving Tucson- her beauty and love will be with me always. But slowly as I got out of town, the feelings of loss upon leaving turned steadily into feelings of welcome from the open road. It's an existence that I adore and long for, and while it is always hard to leave a place, sometimes it is harder to stay. Movement calls to me, I will ever answer.
So Thursday, we finally managed to roll out of town close to 1 in the afternoon, after cleaning the apartment, packing the car, shipping a box, and saying goodbye to one of our favorite neighbors. We headed east, with the intention of going to visit Leslie Canyon, which is in Southern Arizona. I wanted to spend a night in the wilderness named after me. As it turns out, the roads to get there are unpaved, and my car being as loaded down as it is, this was not an option. So, instead we headed into the Coronado National Forest, to Chiricahua National Monument. The campground was full except for one site, which had orange cones blocking the right side of the drive. We weren't sure if this meant we shouldn't use the site, but I felt like it was the universe saying "don't stop." So we ended up driving into the Forest Boundary (on an unpaved road, as it turns out) for about 6 miles, and camping off the road in the wilderness. The spot we found happened to be next to a small windmill which pumped water into a trough for the many many cows who were ranging free around us. The only sound (other than nature) all night was the sound of the windmill whirling. How lovely!! With cows for company, and a magical forest, the evening was full of soulful feeling. A twilight walk past the windmill brought me to some beautiful trees. And the stars!! Oh! Orion seemed to be pulsating with energy, brighter than usual.
The next day we headed into New Mexico, on the lookout for Rockhound State Park. We have this atlas we found at Bookman's that is a camping atlas, so it marks all the campsites on the atlas and gives descriptions of the parks. It's coming in really handy. So, we made our way through the New Mexico desert, and it is so beautiful. Different than the Sonoran of course, but it holds its own magic. Yucca and prickly pear, scraggy mountains, and vivid horizons. Coming into the park, there were plenty of open spots, so we chose a spot uphill with an incredible view. Dinner has been consisting of reconstituting dehydrated meals I've made over the past several months. So they are all vegan and delicious and full of the energy that we need. Plus, it's so simple to make dinner. I also got to make use of the shower here, which was most welcome. Funny how good showers start to feel when you're not sure when you'll get your next one. The stars from this campsite were pretty phenomenal as well. I spent a long while just watching them. I think I'm starting to recognize more stars and constellations just by observation, which is great. Then, all night long, I awoke to the beautiful tones of coyote song- one of my favorite sounds in the world. It was wonderful!
This morning, we woke up there in the New Mexican desert where temperatures where getting into the upper 90s, and now I'm writing this at 10,000 feet elevation in Cloudcroft, in Lincoln National Forest, with the heater running and an ice skating rink down the road (outdoors). Our trek here involved a stop at White Sands National Monument, which I just love, and insisted on stopping at again (it's nice having the Annual Pass for National Parks, Forests, and Monuments because these things don't cut into the funds). We dumped the stuff on the back of Chip's bike into my front seat, and I hopped on the motorcycle with him, and we drove into the dunes.
That place has such a cleansing energy about it. Maybe it's the purity of the white sand that makes me feel so pure myself. I don't know, but I love it. So after that little jaunt, we wound our way up the mountains to check out every campground on the map (they were all closed). We found the ranger station, only to discover that the majority of the campgrounds up here don't open until May. So we found the one that was supposed to be open, turned around and drove there, and found that it was, in fact, closed. Helas! We could have either tried to make it to the next campground (outside of Roswell) or settle into a motel here. Since Chip is on the motorcycle, and its not the most comfortable thing, or the warmest, we opted for checking on the motels. We stopped at this old mountaintop place, and the guy inside was willing to be talked down in price since it's not their busy season. In fact, I think we're the only guests. The hotel has been around since the 1930's and the bar next door since the 40's. Clawfoot tub and everything- it's kind of cool. It does feel weird to be inside right now. But I am looking forward to a bath and some quiet (and warm) time.
So far so good. This journey is making me feel many things. Mostly, I feel like I'm doing what I want to be doing. That is very important to me right now. I am realizing that I do not have a destination, and I do not want one- not a physical one anyway. My destination right now is more about the spirit- to honor the sacred, to have faith in the universe and myself and life, and to be the person that I am (not the one that I think I should be, or that others think I am). Uprooting myself makes this a lot easier. Like you can breathe and think outside of the context of all the things we get caught up in living in civilized society. Sure, there are hard parts and dark parts and scary parts, but that's the point. To not be ruled by these things. To trust that all is as it should be. And that is definitely true right now.
All is as it should be.
I will keep posting whenever I get a good internet connection- so far this is the first time. I can update my facebook via my phone, but otherwise that's it. So stay tuned. Love to you all.